Moving On

First I just have to say thank you to everyone who has contacted me with words of encouragement and letting me know that they are praying for me and my family. The love that I've been experiencing recently has been overwhelming and so humbling. Thank you, thank you.

We are doing well. Derek is so much better at processing these sort of things than I am, but he is grieving as well. He is such an amazing dad to Toby, and I know he was really looking forward to expanding his dad-ness to another kiddo. My prayer is that he won't have to wait too long for that to happen. Overall Derek has been a great source of encouragement and motivation for me. I know I can lean on him for comfort (and I have been), which just blesses me because I can't believe that God set us up. I love that dude.

The weekend was challenging to get through, but here we are. Derek was busy shooting a short film on Saturday and Sunday so I was flying solo with Toby. My mom came over on Saturday just to hang out. She took us out for dinner which was great for Toby because he got to experience water fountains...

I took forever to get a good pic of him. I swear he really was uber stoked about it. Not at all unimpressed like he looks here.

Sunday I took Toby to church and then in the afternoon we hung out at my parents house where I was able to take a much needed nap. Memorial Day was pretty mellow. Derek was home so we just lounged around the house, went to the park, and then later Derek took Toby with him to hang out at his parents house. I stayed back and had some time to myself, which was good since I hadn't really had that since the confirmation of the miscarriage last week. I did venture out to procure some necessary provisions...

As if drowning my sorrows in high caloric intake wasn't enough, "The Bachelorette" started last night and it totally helped take my mind off of things. Derek and I got in to "The Bachelor" when Ben was The Bachelor and I've been hooked ever since. It's just good mindless tv. Last night there was healthy mix of crazy and awkward to make for the right amount of drama.

Yesterday was probably the worst day so far for me in the grieving process, but it was probably the healthiest too. Derek and I had a chance to share with each other how we were feeling about everything and I had that meltdown I was worried about. Thankfully it wasn't super explosive or anything. I just cried for a while, it was cathartic.

Today is a new day and though I'm still sad and trying to navigate all these emotions (and hormones, ugh) I am looking forward to feeling better and finding yet another "new normal".

It helps to have this cutie who has recently learned to give kisses, aka slobbery licks on the face.

Again, thank you everyone for all the love. It means so much and I only hope that I will have my eyes open to sieze opportunities in the future to show love back to you!