A Little One's Poem

                       A kind friend gave us this beautiful rose bush, as a way to remember Zuri. 

Over the weekend I had some time to myself. The desire to hold my baby girl is overwhelming, I miss her so much. I took out an envelope that the hospital sent home with us. They took some pictures of Zuri, but at the time I didn't want to see them. The nurses were very sweet and made sure that we had those documented pictures, for whenever we were ready to see them. During my alone time, I felt ready; I took out the pictures and wept. Her tiny hands and toes were captured so sweetly, and even though I still long to touch those tiny toes, it was helpful to at least see them again. They also included a couple of poems. This one touched me deeply, and I wanted to share it for any other mommas out there going through something similar:

Oh Mother, My Mother...

Oh my, my mother

I touch your tears

invisible fingers 

soothing your skin

I know you think of me so often

in the day, in the night

in your dreams

going into an empty nursery

knowing I'll never be there

but I am... in your heart

in your soul, I shall always be

for you gave so unselfishly of yourself.

Inside of you, you created

such a world for me

a world of laughter, of love

of sadness, of sorrow

every emotion people come to know

you shared with me.

And even though I may never 

feel your arms around me

I felt your heart beating,

like a lullaby, singing me to sleep

and your spirit giving me a safe haven

already protecting me

nurturing me

preparing me of things to come.

But sometimes the journey 

of life pulls souls apart

and yes, I had to go on 

to another place.

I wish I could stay

I wish this was a decision 

I could make

and I know you do too.

Know this wherever you are:

I will always remember 

that yours was the first love,

the first joy, the first soul

I will ever know

you gave me the courage to 

go on in my journey

I hope I can do the same

for you

Your heartbeat will always

call me to you.

Love, your child.